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I’ve been off enjoying the final days of my little hiatusabbitcal, so apologies for neglecting you guys this past week. As a make-good, below you’ll find a blazing hot scoop, plus other assorted musings.

* Sources confirm to me semi-exclusively that Neal McDonough is joining the cast of Desperate Housewives next season as a series freakin’ regular. To say the ex-Traveler’s role is shrouded in secrecy is the understatement of the millennium, but, well since another outlet went and blabbed it, I guess it’s fair game: McDonough is coming on as a new love interest for Edie! So if you were wondering whether Nicolette Sheridan was returning next season, there’s your answer!

* Emmy finalist snap-judgement: Yay the inclusion of Lost, FNL and Pushing Daisies! Nay the absence of Big Love, HIMYM and The New Adventures of Old Christine. (Boston Legal’s semi-nod defies categorization.)

* As I first revealed via my Facebook profile, 50 Cent, accompanied by an entourage of eight, was sitting 10 rows behind me on American Airlines Flight 23 from JFK to LAX Monday night. But that wasn’t the only thing that made the flight memorable: We landed 30 minutes early only to wait 67 minutes on the tarmac for our gate to become free. Not fun. Not fun at all.

* TGIF! Big weekend plans? I’m going to see that silent move starring the cute robot.

I’m once again pushing the pause button on my work hiatus to bring you some major casting news — this time on Smallville.

My increasingly itchy moles report that Sam Witwer, best known to Battlestar Galactica fans as ex-Raptor ECO Alex “Crashdown” Quartararo, has been tapped to play the series regular role of Doomsday. Additionally, relative newcomer Cassidy Freeman is joining the cast as Tess, a sexy and vengeful firecracker with whom Lex hires to run his empire in his absence. Ironically, the actress’ most recent credit was the failed CW pilot Austin Golden Hour — starring none other than Green Arrow himself, Justin Hartley (who’s back on Smallville full time next season).

In depth descriptions of both characters have been posted below to refresh your memory.

Doomsday: Real name: Davis Bloome. He’s in his mid-20s. He works as a bartender at the hip new Metropolis lounge Ace of Clubs.He plays down his smoldering good looks with a self-effacing wit and down-to-earth soulfulness. But he has long felt like an outsider (hence his nickname). And beneath his charismatic, easy-going demeanor lies a brooding sense of isolation and insecurity. When he begins to delve into the haunting mysteries of his true origins, a darker truth begins to emerge, one of blood and serial murders, one of survival and utter destruction - one in which he is forced to confront the true evil inside of him.”

Tess: Drop-dead gorgeous.Roughly 28 years old.She’s determined, sexy, vengeful and has super-strength. “While Lex is away, she is in control of his estate and rules it with aggression. She’s had intellect and the confidence all her life, though it’s obvious she’s had some training from Lex as well. But as much as Lex has helped fortify her power, he is also her biggest weakness. She harbors an undying devotion to Lex, claiming he saved her life a few years ago. She carries out his wishes with coercion, force, seduction - anything to get what she wants. And no one can resist her beguiling ways. Even Clark Kent. She doesn’t remember anything before the day she met Lex. Once she realizes her previous life is buried below the surface, she’s desperate to dig it up.”

In other, non-Smallville casting news, Camille Guaty (fka Prison Break’s Maricruz) has been added to the cast of Rob Thomas’ Cupid reboot. She’ll play Lita.

Hey, it just dawned on me — July 2 is just 13 days away! Woo-hoo!

I know I said no scoop until July 2, but this little nugget’s been burning a hole in my pocket, so without further adieu…

Men in Trees‘ brooding eye candyman James Tupper is joining the cast of Samantha Who? as a love interest for Christina Applegate!

I’m told Tupper is on board for a minimum of three episodes (the first of which he started shooting this week), and he’s playing a charming philanthropist named Owen. A do-gooder who feels like a man of the people even when dressed in an expensive suit, Owen is the kind of guy who men want to be and women want to be with.

I’m pretty sure a fair number of men — say, oh, I dunno, roughly 10 percent of the population? — wouldn’t mind being with him, too.

OK, as much fun as this has been, my prattle sabbatical henceforth resumeth. No sad faces, Ausholes. We’ve just got two more weeks of this to get through. And who knows? Perhaps, maybe just possibly, I’ll be breaking in with more too-hot-to-hold scoop as July 2 approaches. Stranger things have been known to happen.

In the meantime, weigh in on Tupper’s casting below. Does his return to ABC ease some of the pain of Trees‘ cancellation? Or is it tough to imagine “Jack” with anyone other than Marin? Discuss below!

Question: Do you know yet what your job at Entertainment Weekly will specifically entail? Will you still do Ass, I mean, Ask Ausiello? What about the Ausiello Report? Michael
Ausiello: Some version of both columns will exist on EW.com and in the magazine.

Question: I just wanted to say thank you for all of your work over the years. Thank you so much for being utterly obsessed with Gilmore Girls, especially Lauren Graham. Angela
Ausiello: Still not dying, people!

Question: Have you ever been to the home country of the Smurfs? If not, it’s time to book a flight! Steven (from Belgium)
Ausiello: Why do all the cool Smurf events happen in some faraway land?! Someone needs to organize something Smurfy — a parade, a swap meet, something — here in the states. Preferably within walking distance to my apartment in Hell’s Kitchen.

Question: Are you planning to marry Kit in California? If so, best of luck to both of you! And you better show us photos. Love you Michael and miss you at tvguide.com already. July can’t come fast enough for me. Beverley
Ausiello: No plans at the moment. Between us, I’m waiting to see how big this Pretty Bitter thing becomes before signing on the dotted line. There’s only room for one star in this relationship, and, gods dammit, it’s going to be me!

Question: Now that you have some free time on your hands, any chance you can find out what’s going to happen with House and Cuddy next season? Sabrina
Ausiello: It’s No. 3 on my list of things to do. Right after take a long nap and ignore this question.

Question: Have you seen Fringe yet? I know they had a press screening last week, did you go? It looks awesome! Nathan
Ausiello: I have seen it! And I’ll give you my surprising critique on July 2!

Question: It’s kind of hard to go to tvguide.com and you not being there, but I’ll follow your writing wherever it goes; best of luck! Now, what did you think of Lost’s 4th season finale? Ana Maria
Ausiello: I have seen it! And I’ll give you my surprising critique on July 2!

Question: Can we vote for you more than once with the Sexiest Veggie thing? Angelique
Ausiello: I’m looking into this for you. For now, assume the answer is, “Frak, yes!”

Question: I just got a Macbook Air, too! How do you like yours? Tricia
Ausiello: I love all 3 ounces of it. I signed up for those weekly One to One personal training sessions at the Apple Store, so I’m constantly learning new stuff. (Remember, I’ve been a PC guy all my life.) For example, this week, I discovered the awesomeness that is the Dashboard, where fun things like calculators and widgets and viral sticky notes live. It’s all so very, very exciting.

Question: Thank you. When I read that you were leaving TV Guide, I tried to think of how I could articulate what all the years of great moments your work at TV Guide has meant to me, and those two words say it all. Thank you. I started reading TVGuide.com every morning when I was in college. Some people get their news of the day from CNN; I got mine from you. You have no idea how many dark, sleepy mornings were made brighter by one of your snarky news items, and how many late nights I could make my roommate laugh by reading her something you had written. A love of TV brought me to TVGuide.com, but a love of your work is what convinced me to stay. I’ve been there for the past six years and have seen you through the first Ask Ausiello (and the hundred-something that followed), the beginning of the podcast, the end of the Watercooler, the beginning of your blog, the end of the podcast, the beginning of the vodcast, many Sexiest Vegetarian campaigns, some amazing interviews, and a few scandals (Whispergate? Isaiah Washington). I cherish the few questions I actually got into AA and I still get a little excited every time I look at my lovely Ausiello ice cream scooper (a gift from you when I wrote a snarky question about you, Keri Russell, the MIA network, William Fichtner and David Boreanaz). I’m part of the TVGuide.com family now, but I will definitely keep up with you at EW. Megan
Ausiello: Perhaps my favorite letter ever. Thank you, Megan!

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